How Can You Stop Thinking About The Former

Most people have faced a breakup at some point. When this happens, we feel the sky fall on our heads. The emotional impact of ending a relationship is undeniable and inevitable. However, some people do not approach the process properly and this can lead to harmful behaviors such as obsession. What can you do to stop thinking about your ex?

The inability to stop thinking about your ex-partner now that he is no longer part of your life is relatively common. Many people remain stuck in memories, constantly checking the profiles on social networks of the former partner or looking for him in the hope of resuming the relationship.

All of the above situations are detrimental to self-esteem and prevent you from moving forward. Sometimes the desire seems unstoppable. Understanding the situation and applying effective advice will help you get out of this vicious circle.

Why is it so common to think of your ex-partner?

The obsession with your ex-partner is something that often occurs when a relationship has recently ended. It is not about weakness or lack of will. In fact, there are strong physical and psychological causes that lead to the obsession with the former.

When we are in love, the brain releases substances such as dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin. They activate the neural reward circuit and produce pleasant feelings of euphoria and fulfillment.

When the connection is broken, this flow of hormones stops, generating a kind of withdrawal syndrome. Also, cortisol (the stress hormone) begins to flow through the body, causing subjective discomfort and even health problems. It is easy to understand that the body is looking for previous levels of neurotransmitters, causing you to contact the former.

The end of the relationship also involves the destruction of common illusions, expectations and plans for the future. If our identity has been closely linked to someone’s partner role, separation brings with it the need to reconfigure who we are. All of this can be scary and overwhelming, so we respond by trying to regain our emotional security.

How can you stop thinking about the former

When the above happens, you are not free to experience the negative and unpleasant emotions that accompany the pain. However, you can do many things. Ending your obsession with your ex is partly a matter of decision and discipline. The following tips can be very helpful.

Completely avoid contact

If the breakup is recent, it’s normal to want to stay in touch with your ex-partner to find out how they’re doing. However, lack of contact, at least in the first months, is essential.

Avoid meeting your partner, talking to him and having any kind of contact. You also don’t have to look at old photos or conversations or check their online activity.

You have to accustom your brain to the absence of your partner. If you continue to look for its physical or symbolic presence, you will continue to nurture and strengthen old neural connections. Leave the hormonal current produced by the relationship.

Many times, we become obsessed with our ex-partner, because we find it overwhelming to accept that all the time, energy and illusions invested have been in vain. Nobody likes to feel like they’ve failed.

Therefore, it is important to change the way we perceive what happened and to remember that every experience we have enriches us. Therefore, everything has a meaning, even if the relationship is over.

Finally, focus on yourself. The healthiest thing is to take care of yourself and other areas of life. This is true even when you are in a relationship. However, it does not happen often and we tend to focus too much on each other.

When we lose focus on ourselves, we feel a void that we do not know how to fill. The best alternative is to dedicate all our time and attention to ourselves. Reconnect with yourself and take care of yourself and your goals.

Preventing the obsession with your ex-partner is not easy, especially when we suffer from low self-esteem or have had an emotionally dependent relationship. However, it is a decision we must make and maintain for our mental and emotional health.

The only person who will stay with you forever is, without a doubt, you. So, prioritize your own well-being and focus your energy and resources on working on yourself. Be grateful for the time spent with the other person, forgive and accept the new experiences and opportunities that will come.