Low Self-esteem – 5 Symptoms And 5 Solutions

No one taught us in childhood how to have a healthy self-esteem. If we have been fortunate enough to have a family that provides us with support and kindness, then it is very possible that we will not be affected by low self-esteem.

As we age and go through new experiences, this fragile side can experience ups and downs. We have been told that in order to be successful in life, we must be skillful, physically perfect, and courageous.

But many of us end up developing a substitute for self-esteem, which is based on validation from others.

If someone rejects us, we feel that we do not deserve to be loved. If we lose our job, we become convinced that we are incapable of success. If a friend leaves us, it means that we are not the kind of person that others can trust.

It is not right to think so. We should never allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by such negative emotional states. In today’s article we present the 5 most common traits of people with low self-esteem, as well as how we can fix this problem.

Low self-esteem: 5 steps to recognize it

Having high self-esteem does not mean that you are convinced that you are the best in the world, but neither that you are the worst. The first variant is an example of blind pride, while the second describes people with low self-esteem.

It is essential to believe in ourselves and our abilities. Problems arise when we feel incompetent or do not deserve to be loved if we do not receive validation from those around us.

This mentality is a great source of suffering, which is why it is good to avoid it. In the following we invite you to discover some features that warn you that you have low self-esteem.

1. “I’m afraid of failure”

Ever since I was a child, I have longed for the support of our parents and teachers. We were told that if we made a mistake, an adult would give us a helping hand. But even now, when we ourselves are adults, we are afraid of making mistakes. We often forget that we are skilled enough to do certain things.

How to ward off this fear

Low self-esteem indicates, first of all, an exaggerated number of fears. The first step to increasing our self-esteem is to overcome the fear of failure.

It’s not bad to make mistakes sometimes. Mistakes help us discover new strategies. We should not label ourselves as “clumsy” just because we made a mistake. Few things are more harmful than self-criticism.

2. Irritability

Poor moods, apathy and a tendency to become irritable very easily indicate low self-esteem or even depression.

• In such moments, we feel that we have completely lost control. We are hopeless, a very dangerous state.

How to deal with the situation

• Rearrange your priorities so that your main goal is to take care of yourself. Change your routine and friendships and adopt new hobbies.
• By forcing the negative voice in your mind to be silent, you will be able to focus on new dreams.

3. The need to thank others

In other articles we have talked about how dangerous is the constant need to be liked by others.

• This need may indicate that you have low self-esteem.
• Although it is not harmful to receive praise from the outside, certain problems arise when you need this approval constantly to feel good in your own skin.

How to overcome the need to please others

Try to do certain things on your own, without giving explanations to anyone. Enjoy the moments when you are alone and be more assertive. Say “no” if someone asks you to do something contrary to your wishes. In order to have a high self-esteem, you have to overcome your dependence on the approval of others.

4. Self-blame

We often get the impression that all the evil around us is our fault. For example, if your son is not doing well at school, you start to worry that you are not helping him enough.

• When our parents get sick, we tell ourselves that we should have paid more attention to them.
• When someone criticizes or rejects us, we blame ourselves.

How to control self-blame

It is essential to understand that we do not need to carry the weight of the whole world on our shoulders. It is not our responsibility to make sure EVERYTHING goes as it should.

Get rid of unnecessary burdens and let your mind and body rest. Appreciate the simplicity of life. Set aside time to be alone and stop over-analyzing your behavior.

5. Lack of hope

It doesn’t matter if you’re 8 or 80 years old. Everyone needs a project, a goal to dedicate to. Hope and dreams bring a dose of color to our lives.

If you wake up hopeless every morning or feel that you have no purpose in life and you are guided by the desires of others, then your self-esteem is in danger. Take the necessary measures to remedy the situation.

How to overcome hopelessness

We often lose hope because we become prisoners of rigid routines, do not receive external stimulation or have an internal problem.

Try to discover a new passion. Head in a new direction, change the scenario of your life and, last but not least, meet new people. Sometimes the best remedy for a suffering soul is a new friendship.